Once Upon a Time....

When Kyle and I were first married (nearly 13 years ago) we lived in Burlington, IA for nearly three years. Kyle got his first job after receiving his MBA at Shaeffer Pen in Ft. Madison. Our first home was a small rented townhouse. We had crazy neighbors with three small kids and a cat that stalked us and attacked me once. They had their living room set up as their master bedroom. Since I was approaching the old age of 24 after we were married I wanted to focus on having a baby and just staying home. After a month or so I got bored and decided I would just try and find a VERY part-time job at the mall. I was hired at The Buckle. I liked this job very much and did very well. We worked on commission and my manager and I quickly became good friends as she was a year older than me. After a very short time I became a team leader, then full-time and after a few months they hired me on as asst. manager which required a minimum of 45 hrs/week and a minimum of 50 hrs. during back to school and the holidays. Kyle was doing well at his job and was also playing a lot of hockey. There were a lot of wonderful employees at The Buckle. Mostly high school and college students. I became close to many of these girls (I think we only had 3 guys that worked there the whole time I was there). I saw my co-workers more than I saw Kyle since I worked so much. They became my family. We even did a lot of stuff outside work. I listened to them complain about their parents, school, break-ups etc.... When I got pregnant with Faith everyone was so excited. Faith had pneumonia when she was born and was in the hospital for 10 days. I stayed those 10 days with her in the hospital and had a CONSTANT stream of visitors for the whole 10 days which mostly were my co-workers. They brought me food, magazines and gifts. I was an emotional wreck and would have been lost without them since Kyle had to return to work a couple of days after she was born. I was particularly close to 2 or 3 girls and one would stay overnight with me if Kyle had to travel for work or hockey. By the time we had Faith, Kyle was was working for Case. After Faith was born I dropped my position at The Buckle and just worked a couple of nights a week and a few hours on Saturdays. When she was 8 months old Case offered to transfer Kyle WAY closer to home and the grandparents. We were super excited! I was sad to leave my co-workers and vowed to keep in touch with them for forever.

Fast forward 9-10 years. I was only exchanging Christmas cards with my manager. UGH!! However, through the beautiful thing we all know as FACEBOOK I have been able to reconnect with 10 or so of my old pals. I was ages 23-26 when I worked with them and most of them were between the ages of 17-21 or so. They are now 30'ish! I still think of them as teenagers. Most of them are doing really well. However, some of them have faced a lot of trials. Two of my favorite girls have had husbands pass away. One in a car accident and the other's husband just died in his sleep at 33 years of age. The first had a 4 mo. old and the latter has 3 young children under the age of 5. They were both very happily married and things were going great. The first is now remarried and doing great. The 2nd girls husband just died a few months ago. Two other girls are divorced. One of the guys I worked with is now 33 and has one 6 year old son from a one night stand with a co-worker and is unemployed. My manager has struggled through a really weird disease and a miscarriage (she now has 2 beautiful boys and is doing great). None of them are at The Buckle anymore. My heart breaks especially for my friends that have lost their husbands at such young ages. Life was so easy and fun at ages 17-21. Unfortunately, I have too many friends that have gone through very difficult times in their lives. I realize as I get older these numbers will increase. My mind has been very occupied with these friends this last week or so and has made me emotional. I have been VERY blessed in my life and these tragedies make me realize how fragile life is. I am especially thankful for my belief in God and in heaven. It would be so sad to believe that it is all just "over" after this short earth life. One of my goal for this year (and beyond) is to make ALL my relationships more meaningful-especially with Kyle and the kids. It just dawned on me the other day that I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for 10 1/2 years of Kyle and I's almost 13 year marriage-WOW!! Our relationship for MOST of this time has been put to the side...not by choice... but just by the demands of parenting. I am hoping to start finding more balance in 2010.